Early Morning Showdown
by AZTECPHENOM
Summary: A morning in the life of Jack and Riddick. Rated M for language.


_He shuddered with pleasure. Her finger tips were driving him out of his mind. A growl rose up from deep within as she bit his neck lightly; his breath hitched as she gripped him tightly and then ran her tongue up to swirl around his ear… _

"Riddick!" A voice sing-songed.

_Wait…that's not part of the dream._

"RIDDICK!"

_No! Don't wake up, don't wake up, don't wake up…not yet. _He squeezed his eyes shut willing himself back into the dream, back to Delilah, the cute blonde across the street with legs that didn't quit_- "RID-__**DICK**__!"_

_Fuck_.

"**WHAT?!**" he bellowed flipping over onto his back and pulling a pillow tightly down over his eyes. _This had better be a fucking emergency._

His bedroom door flew open and hit the wall.

"Jack," he growled from underneath the pillow – _there's no way I'm gonna catch up to Delilah now_- , "what the fuck do you want?"

"Riddick." He peeked out from underneath the pillow and saw Jack standing there holding a bowl and frowning at him. "We're out of milk."

He turned and looked the digital clock on his bedside table. 6:04 AM.

_Why? Why can't she be a normal teen and sleep 'till noon?_

"So what," he rolled back over onto his stomach closing his eyes.

She plopped down onto the mattress next to him, "Soooo… I can't eat my cereal."

_She can't be serious._

"You woke me up…at six in the morning…for some cereal?"

"Yup."

"Jack…get the _fuck_ outta my room. Now."

"C'mon Riddick," she whined poking him in the leg, "I'm hungry."

"Make something else," he yawned.

"There's nothing else to make," she sighed hauling her legs up onto the bed, "we need to pick up some stuff… the fridge is pretty much empty, except for some beer and eggs."

"Cook some eggs." _There. Problem solved…now she can go away._

"What're you trying to do, kill me…?"

_Don't tempt me…_

"You _know_ that I'm allergic to eggs."

_God DAMN it. _

"So what the hell do you want me to do kid, huh? Pull some pancakes outta my ass? Go back to sleep."

"Ugh. You make a conscious effort to be disgusting, don't you?"

He grunted.

"And no I don't want any of your ass-pancakes…save that for your freaky little skank friends -"

"Ja-ack," he warned. _One of these days I'm going to swell that mouth of yours closed, so help me god. _

"I want you to pick up some milk."

"And I want _you_ to disappear, "he lifted his head and looked at her before dropping it back to the pillow, "I guess we both get to be disappointed today, huh?"

"Riddick, get your lazy ass up and go get me some goddamn milk!"

He laughed into his pillow, "Uh…that would be a negatory."

"You don't need all that sugary breakfast food anyway, girl…you're getting a little chubby as it is."

"Riddick!" She screeched indignantly. She aimed a punch at his stomach only to have his hand shake out from underneath the blanket and slap hers away.

"Dammit Jack, it's six o'clock in the morning, I'm not going to the store," he mumbled.

"Actually…its six _fifteen_, and you _have_ to go to the store because I'm staaaaarrrrving," she whined tugging on his blankets, "can't you hear my stomach?"

And as if on cue her stomach let loose a loud churning growling noise.

"If you don't go get some food I'm going to die of starvation, right here, on this bed." She flopped down next to him so they were lying face to face, he opened his eyes and they glinted maliciously.

"Yeah, well I'll tell you what… if you don't get the hell out of my room in the next ten seconds you're going to die of blunt force trauma to the head…so take your pick."

"Pleeeease, Riddick." Poke poke.

"No…and cut that shit out."

_Go. Away._

"C'mon." Poke.

"No, leave me alone."

"But – ".

"NO!"

"Rid-".

"_**FINE**_ " He yelled sitting up quickly and making Jack to topple off the bed, "go get my fucking shoes and I'll go get you some goddamn milk!"

She popped from off the floor and beamed at him, "Really?"

He glared at her and she help up her hands in mock surrender, "Okay, okay, okay…geez…I'll go get your 'fucking shoes'."

"Watch your mouth," he snapped, pulling on his jeans.

"Yeah, yeah , yeah ," she scoffed walking towards the door, "Okay 'mom'."

She dodged Riddick's cell phone as he launched it at her and it shattered against the wall, "SHIT!"

She sprinted down the stairs giggling.

Riddick stormed down the stairs. _Goddamn kid wakes me up at some ungodly hour on a Sunday! Interrupts a fantastic dream…and for what?! Some stupid milk!_

"Where the hell are my shoes?"

_Stop smiling you little brat._

"They're –uh – right by your feet, hawkeye."

_Oh_.

He pulled on his shoes, cursing her the whole time, and then snatched his car keys from off the counter, "Is there anything else you need _Princess_," he sneered.

She just looked up at him and smiled brightly, "Well, I was going to have Roxanne drive me to the store later to pick up some tampons…but if _you_–" .

"No fucking way, "he replied immediately before slamming the door so hard the frame shook.

Jack walked back into the kitchen and listened as he pealed out of the driveway. She plopped down into a chair and kicked her feet up on the table; something she could never do when he was home, and then something in the corner behind the toaster caught her eye.

Standing up she walked over to the counter and picked up the box, "Oh hey awesome…PopTarts!"


End file.
